This Isn't Happening. Not to you anyway.

HELLOOOO, Nobody...

(that was pretty pathetic.)

okay, so to begin, I want to tell myself and nobody, that once i have followers, i will attempt to write about things of interest. Actually, i think i might just add a little story to prove how i really have need for the phrase, "this isn't happening" to make myself feel better.

So there I was one night, brushing my teeth, well starting to anyway. Being incredibly bored, I decided to see exactly how much foam my mouth could produce and (of course) being ‘creative’, I opted for using two types of toothpaste, mom’s and dad’s, mint, and herbal. Squeezing out what was left of the top half of the herbal, I succeeded in dropping the cap. (This is where things get really interesting)

Not a big deal, you might think. This was a big deal for me. I crouched down onto the floor, (still balancing my toothbrush with the enormous glob of herbal on it) and looked around. What I did find was that there were three spiders living under the sink. Not being a huge fan of the hair-legged critters, I dropped my toothbrush right onto the bathmat in fear. Now, I only really had four options:

1. Get bug spray, kill the spiders but also contaminate my toothbrush and the toothpaste cap.
2. Reach in *shudder* to find my cap, at the risk of being bitten by bloodthirsty spiders and turning into Spiderwoman (‘cause everyone just loves having to deal with webs shooting out of their wrists) then deal with my toothbrush and cleaning the mat up.
3. Option three (the most preferable of the four) was to scream like a little kid and wake up my parents, letting them sort out my mess at one in the morning.
4. Ignore the mess and pretend I don’t know what happened the next morning.

I chose to go with option 1, and spray everything down. After all, who really needs to brush their teeth? It’s so overrated.

Just as I finished killing off the spiders while humming the Addam’s family theme songs and replacing them with spiders, “they’re creepy and they’re crawly, hairy as pastrami (the only thing that rhymed) anyway, you get the idea, when I noticed the cap. It was sitting peacefully next to the laundry basket while I had been wildly trying to salvage it from under the sink (who knew toothpaste caps could bounce that far?). I snatched up my toothbrush and boiled it in a pot of water right on the stove (it might have melted in the microwave) to sterilize it. I admit it, I was a brush-freak and I couldn’t bring myself to not brush my teeth-morning breath is just gross. I soaked the bathmat and rinsed it out, planning on acting like I was doing a good deed and cleaning it because I was ‘bored’.

After having finished that and feeling very accomplished, I soaped my toothbrush a few time just in case. I layered it in toothpaste, making sure to not drop the cap. Set on getting tons of foam, I brushed my little heart out. Sadly, my story ends on a tragic note, when all the foam shrank as soon as it hit sink, leaving me with barely anything to gloat over. But I reminded myself there was always next time, became there was, because I hate morning breath.

And That concludes my very first post.

BYEBYE :)